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The Heunis Chronicles

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Humour

Is die Springbokke so dom? Ek glo darem nie.

Ek is nie iemand wat gewoonlik e-pos aanstuur nie en ek vee hulle gewoonlik vinnig uit maar ‘n kollega het hierdie ene vandag gestuur wat vir my regtig snaaks was.

Dit is ware aanhalings deur All Black en Wallabie rugbyspelers en afrigters. Van hulle is kostelik. Ek dink darem regtig nie die Bokke is so onnosel nie. Springbokafrigter Peter de Villiers is egter ‘n ander saak.

Sonder verdere vertoef, hier is hulle:

Jono Gibbs, Chiefs
“Nobody in Rugby should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.”

Rodney So’ialo, Hurricanes, on University
“I’m going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes.”

Colin Cooper, Hurricanes head coach
“You guys line up alphabetically by height.” And, “You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle.”

Chris Masoe (Hurricanes) on whether he had visited the Pyramids during his visit to Egypt .
“I can’t really remember the names of the clubs that we went to.”

Colin Cooper on Paul Tito
“He’s a guy who gets up at six o’clock in the morning regardless of what time it is.”

Kevin Senio ( Auckland ), on Night Rugby vs Day Games
“It’s basically the same, just darker.”

David Nucifora ( Auckland ) talking about Troy Flavell
“I told him, ‘Son, what is it with you… Is it ignorance or apathy?’ He said, ‘David, I don’t know and I don’t care.’

David Holwell (Hurricanes) when asked about the upcoming season:
“I want to reach for 150 or 200 points this season, whichever comes first.”

Ma’a Nonu
“Colin has done a bit of mental arithmetic with a calculator.”

Phil Waugh
“We actually got the winning try three minutes from the end but then they scored.”

Jerry Collins
“I’ve never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.”

Tony Brown
“That kick was absolutely unique, except for the one before it which was identical.”

Tana Umaga
“I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.”

Doc Mayhew
“Sure there have been injuries and deaths in rugby, but none of them serious.”

Anton Oliver
“If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again.”

Ewan McKenzie
“I never comment on referees and I’m not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat.”

Murray Mexted
(1) “Andy Ellis the 21 year old, who turned 22 a few weeks ago”
(2) “He scored that try after only 22 seconds – totally against the run of play.”
(3) “I would not say he (Rico Gear) is the best left winger in the Super14, but there are none better.”
(4) “Well, either side could win it, or it could be a draw.”
(5) “Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer.”

AND THE “Piece de resistance’

Murray Deaker:
“Have you ever thought of writing your autobiography?”
Tana Umaga:
“On what?”

Spud the Movie Trailer

I have just seen the trailer for John van der Ruit’s hilarious book, Spud and it looks promising.

Due for release in in November 2010, the movie tells the story of Spud, a boy going to school in the prestigious Natal private school, Michaelhouse. The book was a huge hit in South Africa and the UK, but I have to say that I was pleasantly surprised when I found out that was to be made into a movie with screen icon John Cleese (as Spud’s favourite teacher) and newcomer South-African actresses Tanit Phoenix (as the sexy teacher) and Alex McGregor (as a girlfriend).

I am reading the book at present and I must say that I’ve had several involuntary fits of laughter, so I think it could be a great movie if they can successfully portray the South-African humour in the book. Inevitably some of the humour will be lost in translation to American and European audiences, but I think the English-speaking nations like the UK, Australia, New Zealand and India will certainly “get it”.

Potgooi 30

Episode 30; oftewel Reeks 2 Episode 3 (soos DSTV alles nou klassifiseer). Ek gesels oor die FIFA Wêreldbeker, Gary the Tooth Fairy & Sharleen Surty Richards.

Potnotas:

Alternatiewelik laai af of luister op iTunes.

Die Antwoord

Die Antwoord
Die Antwoord is bad (meaning good).

Like so many people (including American rock god Fred Durst, top-of-the-pops icon Katie Perry and Riviersonderend) I have been blown away by South-Africa’s new runaway band Die Antwoord. Everybody who is anybody is talking about this band – and most of the buzz isn’t even in South Africa! Some of their songs have had more than a million hits on Youtube. Their early success is phenomenal. Like many South Africans I can’t totally place them. It is obvious they are taking the piss about the Zef culture in South Africa, but how much of it is real? Their songs/videos are very funny and much of it is staged, but I’m certain there is a lot of reality as well. Who cares? I don’t.

Many South-Africans, especially the more conservatives ones, won’t be impressed by this music. To me many of their songs are too vulgar and over the top, but Enter the Ninja is utterly brilliant and seriously gives me goosebumps when I listen to it. It definitely has strong elements of Marshall Mathers (aka Eminem) and, like some of his music, resonates with the dispossessed. And right now in South-Africa and the world there are many of those. The lyrics are serious (not like the other songs) and describe the fight for survival in SA.

Technically the rapping by MaxNormal aka The Ninja is astonishing. I had no clue we had such great artists in this media in SA. Although subsequently I have now heard Jack Parow as well and he is also damn good. The video, set design, website and all the other production elements are comparable with the best in the music business. Again it doesn’t even look South-African it is so good. The people that created this are serious pros.

Going forward will be tricky: they obviously want to nurse the global audience they now have, but they need to stay Zef and South African. If I were them I’d be careful of being too vulgar (for example “Jou ma se P##s” in ‘n Fishpaste Jar). I don’t think they need the vulgarity, because their music is brilliant enough. Enter the Ninja has lots of swearing, but it is justified, but “Jou ma se P##s” in ‘n Fishpaste Jar” is too much.

Nothing would please me more if Die Antwoord continued with this massive surge; I wish them all the best. Yo Ninja. GO!

Boesmansriviermond Boeresport

Toutrek by Boesmans boeresport
Toutrek by Boesmans boeresport

Toe ek grootgeword het was die Boeresport een van die beste goed omtrent Desember vakansies by Boesmans. Ek is seker dit was altyd op die 1ste gewees, maar die jaar was dit die 31ste Desember. Die Boeresport word afgeskop deur ‘n marathon tussen Boesmans mond en Kwaaihoek. Daarna is dit naellope en die oggend hoogtepunt: Toutrek. In die middae is dit swem.

Toe ons klein was het ek (en glo my ek was nie atleties nie) aan die marathon, toutrek en die swem deelgeneem. Ek het selfs toutrek en swem-aflos oorwinnings gevuur in my jeug!!

Dit is wat my aanbetref regtig ‘n fantastiese tradisie. Ek aanvaar dat dit begin is deur die boere van Alexandria wat hier kom kamp het met hulle ossewaens (dit is terloops hoe Boesmans self ook begin het). Die boere wou seker maar ‘n bietjie sports hê om die nuwe jaar mee in te lei en watter beter manier as om teen mekaar te kompeteer.

Dit was rêrig lekker om daar te wees die jaar, maar ek is bekommerd dat daar so min mense was. Ek hoop ek is verkeerd, maar ek kry die gevoel dat die Boeresport nie meer so gesond is soos wat dit in die ou dae was nie. Miskien moet ons by Red Apple kyk of ons nie ‘n bydrae kan maak nie; dit is so ‘n kosbare ding.

Gaan loer gerus na die res van my Boesmans Boeresport fotos.

Inaugural Boesmansriviermond BigBash

This weekend we had the inaugural Boesmansriviermond BigBash. The idea being to have a party for people our age in and around Bushman’s. We organised it a bit late and not for the absolute best time (in the school holidays) so many people couldn’t make it, but despite that everybody that was there had a good time including ourselves. We have learned a few things though so in 2009 we’ll plan it better.

Read more about Bushman’s River events.

Another Youtube beauty

Absolutely adore this. Keep your eyes on the expressions of the Hippo. Even Nick Parks from Wallace & Grommit must be impressed by this.

If this doesn’t play, go directly to Youtube.

THIS is the 80s

I entered the eighties as a 7-year old and left it when I was 17. This beautiful video by the Mint Brothers encapsulates the 80s in America brilliantly.

I can just see all the movies from that era flash in front of me now.

The song (also very eighties) is Sister Christian by the Night Rangers.

Button in serious condition after F1 accident

F1 Button
Button in horrific F1 accident

A tragedy indeed!

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